Just Write Already!

Wow. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on my blog. Or maybe more like four years, but who’s counting? I’m really not sure where the last four years have gone, even though a lot has transpired since my last post. Here’s an update of what has been going on!

In the last four years, I completed my Professional Editors Certificate, moved to a new city, had a baby, and lost my dad. It has been an absolute whirlwind, and I lost and regained my focus too many times to count.

But here I am again, this time, with more clarity, wisdom, and direction than ever before. As always, I’ve got a list of about 9,327 things that I want to get done and maybe a spare 25 – 30 minutes a day to get them done. But I’m working on them. And that is what matters. Over the last few years, I put myself under a lot of pressure, and I felt like I was spinning in circles, trying to get everything done at once but going nowhere. So, I slowed down, refocused, and now feel like I’m on a straight-ish (albeit slow) path to meeting my goals. 

Since completing my editing courses, I have once again regained some direction and purpose (career-wise). I am slowly starting to pull in writing and editing work as my schedule permits, and my goal is to be freelancing full-time within the next two years. 

Three years ago, we moved from the Lower Mainland of BC to the beautiful Okanagan. I’ve always had a gypsy soul and have never stayed in one place for too long. In late 2017, I woke up one morning with a restless desire to move to the Okanagan. I told my husband we should move, and he looked at me incredulously and was more than likely thinking, Oh, here we go again! We were expecting our second child and had only moved into our home about a year prior (after waiting 3 months longer than scheduled for construction to be completed). I’m sure he thought I must be joking. But I wasn’t. The urgency I felt was immense. This was one of my ideas that I just wasn’t going to let go of. 

After some thought (and perhaps a little gentle prodding, subliminal messaging, and not-so-subtle encouragement from yours truly), the idea started to grow on him. However, we needed to figure out how we could make this work. The company he worked for had a base in Kelowna but it was rare for a position to become available, and if one did, it was highly sought-after. I’m sure he thought the opportunity wouldn’t come up, but I knew in my gut that it wouldn’t take long. Low and behold, about a week later, a job posting came up, and he applied for it. Within a month, the job was his, the plan to move was set in motion (thank you, intuition!), and it has turned out to be one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.

Our second son was born a month after our move and came into this world like a tsunami. He is incredibly bright and so active that it is near impossible to keep up with him. From the moment he arrived earthside, he has been a force to be reckoned with. As most parents do, while I was pregnant, we came up with a list of names that we liked. After he was born, we chose the one that we felt suited him most. His name is of Polish/Czech descent and little did we know at the time, it means warlike. He has a strong, determined personality (and a bit of a temper), so it looks like his name suits him just fine. He definitely keeps us on our toes, and I just know he will have an impact in this world! 

Aaannnddd…I am also writing my memoir, titled The Butcher’s Vegan Daughter. I started playing with this idea back in 2019. During my pregnancy and in the period shortly after, I sort of stumbled upon veganism (I’ll save the story of those circumstances for another time). The more soul-searching I did, and the more I learned, I realized that this was the path I was meant to follow. However, being the daughter of a butcher and having grown up the way I did in a small prairie town, I found myself in the middle of a bit of an existential crisis. Around the same time, my dad’s health had taken a complete nose-dive—he hadn’t been well for a few years prior, but 2019 was the year he really took a turn for the worse—I decided to write my book. At the time, writing was my outlet and coping mechanism. When my dad died in October 2019, everything creative that ever flowed from my soul ceased. I stopped painting and stopped writing. I just couldn’t bring myself to write anymore. It was too painful. And I continued on like that for almost a year and a half. 

But a few months ago, I realized I needed help. I hadn’t allowed myself to grieve for my dad and finally admitted that I didn’t even know how to. Now, after some counselling and deep, difficult soul-searching, I am finally back writing. I have no idea how long it will take me to get this book done, but the important thing is I’m working on it again, and it’s been one of the most cathartic experiences of my life. 

When I write, it feels as though my soul has been jostled from a slumber. Creating fills my heart and eases my mind by reminding my brain to deal with my feelings instead of just burying them. Recognizing this has been such a blessing and one I never want to lose sight of again. So, I’ve made myself a promise – I will never, ever stop writing. In the same way that I feel pulled to new places and new adventures, I feel a constant yearning to write. To fulfil my soul, I must honour the desire and passion I have to create.